#1 - Outpour

Ever since I got pregnant, I feel like I'm a different person.

I refrain from looking in the mirror, I prefer to have my video off during meetings. I don't like what I see in my reflection, videos, or photos. I wasn't like this before.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that I had my son. I love him.

It's just that these days, I find myself thinking or doing things differently.

    I'm insecure... I used to be confident and carefree (in a good light)

    I'm sensitive... I didn't give a sh t sometimes.

    I easily get mad... while I would just laugh at those before.

    I envy some people... while I would feel genuinely happy for them before.

    Sometimes I don't feel loved... back then, I was full of love.

I already took a break from work for a week.

I was on a holiday on those days.

But I feel... tired.

Lost and tired.

I don't know.

Right now, I'm crying while I'm writing this.

With a hope that I could breathe after,

and find myself soon... AGAIN.

 

 

💗 Clairie